Translation:
If you divorce your wife and she is about to reach the end of the prescribed (waiting) period, then either continue the marriage in the spirit of goodness or allow her to leave with goodness. Do not force her to stay in marriage against her will to harm her— whoever behaves this way only harms his own soul. Do not take God’s message as a trivial matter. Reflect on His favor to you and His guidance to you though the revela- tions and wisdom (in the revelations). (Therefore), remain conscious of God, keep your duty to God, and realize that God is aware of all things (that you do).118
Interpretation:
118 In all matters of human interactions and especially in the matters of family rela- tions, Islam sets a very lofty standard of maintaining human dignity, respect, and
an unscrupulous sense of fairness and goodness. When it comes to the interactions between a husband and wife, their mutual behaviors in a way set the standard for the family and especially for the children for whom parents are the first guides and the first teachers and on whom parents have the most influence. It is no wonder that the Qur’an devotes a significant amount of time talking about family values, respect for parents, and the husband and wife relationship, even when that relationship is at a point of breaking down, such as at the time of a divorce.
A divorce is a major disruption in the life of the family, of relatives, and of children, and too many divorces in society also lead to moral degradation, the rise of single- parent families, and a lack of proper supervision of children in their formative stages of life. However, unlike Christianity, Islam recognizes the relevance of divorce when parting ways is better for the couple and for the family. But still, this has to be done with deliberation, given every chance to keep the family united, and then, when all else fails, should be consummated with due justice and fairness to all. The treatment of wives during the divorce process and after the divorce is complete is critically important, and God reminds people who may want to deviate from His command that He sees everyone’s behavior toward one another, especially toward their spouse, and that He will keep account of our activities in an open book that we will find on the Day of Resurrection and that we will see has left nothing out.
When God instructs us not to take His message and guidance as a trivial matter with respect to marriage, divorce, and the treatment of women, He is in effect reminding us of the appalling conditions that women had been subjected to prior to Islamic teachings and that as Muslims we must take our responsibilities in these matters very seriously and ensure that we follow His guidance individually and collectively through behavior modification, social norms, and legally binding frameworks in our societies and nations. The condition of Muslims in many Muslim countries has reverted back to that of pre-Islamic times, and this needs to be corrected.
Reflection:
Family relationships are very critical to the survival and upliftment of our society. The issues of family disunity, a lack of supervision of children, and inadequate moral and social support are found to be wanting in all societies, developed or under- developed, and they are of critical proportions in Muslim countries where very little in terms of institutional resources exist and where women still have very little voice.
Action:
As we read the Qur’an and understand our responsibilities, it is important for each and every one of us to act with a sense of urgency to change these situa- tions. God is on record here to say that we should not take His instructions regarding marriage and divorce as trivial matters! Being God conscious and having patience are two constant reminders in Islamic teachings, and they are to be exercised in all situ- ations, such as divorce, war, calamity, death, personal crisis, etc., so that we behave properly with all people, irrespective of faith, relationship, and ethnicity. Additionally, under such moral teachings and this value system, our spouses should receive the utmost respect, compassion, and support, even in the case of divorce, given previous relationships, commitments, and care for any children involved, whose well-being is a collective responsibility of both parents.