Translation:
God will not hold you responsible for what is trivial in your oath, but He will take account for what your heart earned (i.e., what you meant seriously), and God is Forgiving and Forbearing.113
Those who swear that they will not engage in sex with their wives should wait four months; then if they go back (to a normal relationship), God is Forgiving, Merciful. But if they agree on a divorce, God is (also) Hearing, Knowing.114
Interpretation:
113 These two verses deal with the male custom of frequent swearing, which put women at a disadvantage. This was common in Arab cultures during the early times
of Islam, but it is still prevalent in many of today’s cultures and societies. For example, a man could declare at will to stop sexual relations with his wife and the wife would
be put into a position of undefined relationship with the husband. She could not claim to be his wife but at the same time was not free to seek her own future. Islam declares such swearing to be inconsequential if done frivolously or in the heat of the moment so that this does not become binding, but if this is done with serious and deliberate intent, then each party has four months to resolve the matter and hope- fully sustain the relationship or allow the wife to seek a divorce and dissolve the marriage in her own right. The true intent in today’s context is to allow both parties a four-month reflecting period prior to any serious intent to divorce. Divorce is a serious matter, and one should pursue it with due deliberation. Outright divorce is unacceptable in Islam; however, each party deserves the right to reconsider for four months (I believe as a minimum condition), and, if it is mutually agreeable, they should be allowed to resume their relationship. But if in the end this relationship
is untenable, then either party (man as well as woman) can seek the divorce, but it should be done with fairness, forgiveness, and mutual respect.
114 Islam is the only religion that gave specific rights to divorce to women, unheard
of at the time the Qur’an was revealed and which was not granted to women in other religions until more recent times. The unprecedented rise of Muslims was possible because of the serious commitment to equality for men and women, an uncompro-mising attitude toward civility and fairness, and a profound understanding of human potential through faith and good deeds. Unfortunately, many Muslim countries and communities have regressed and eliminated many of the rights granted to women by God and His Prophet, whereas other countries and religions have seen the wisdom
of Islamic teachings and the freedom accorded to women and have accepted them into their own legal systems. This is a serious setback for Muslims, and we need to establish rules and regulations to safeguard the rights of women and the obligations
of men to women.
Reflection: The relationships between husbands and wives are central to family upbringing and to the proper functioning of a society, and Islam provides rights to women and sets moral standards that are highly supportive of women’s dignities and positions in order to strengthen those relationships. Too many years have passed and too many seminars and lectures have been given to proclaim the rights of women
in Islam while simultaneously trying to justify keeping women under the veil and keeping them from educating themselves. This is even common among Muslim men, who themselves are educated but silently conform to the erroneous teachings of the so-called religious men who lack proper understanding and vision.
Action: Women’s rights and due respect as members of society were granted in Islam at a time when such rights were unheard of and could not be provided in other reli- gions. It is ironic that we have gone back to pre-Islamic norms despite the fact that we claim to follow God’s guidance. Perhaps this along with the constant rise of fundamen- talism, overemphasis of ritual prayers, and imposition of veils and hijabs on Muslim women is reflective of a deeper sense of despair and ignorance among Muslims.