TRANSLATION
And give to the bride her marriage portion [i.e., dowry] in the spirit of a gift. But if they give up a portion of that out of their own will, then consume it together with joy and pleasure.237
Do not hand over the property to those orphans who are still weak of understanding while God has given you charge to maintain them. Maintain them out of such property [or your own], clothe them, and treat them gently and educate them. And ascertain their maturity until they reach the age of marriage. If you then find them to be mature of understanding, then hand over their property in their proper possession. Do not consume their property in wasteful consumption or hastily before they grow up. If one is rich, then he should abstain entirely from using such property, and if one is poor, he could use a portion in a fair measure. And when such handover happens, bring witnesses to the transaction—but know that none can take accounts better than God.238
INTERPRETATION
237. The giving of gifts to the bride at the time of marriage is hereby established as a gesture of goodwill (commonly known as mahr or dowry). It is a matter of mutual consent and agreement and strongly recommended but has not been mandated as a matter of law. Also, the amount is also made very flexible according to a number of traditions from the time of the Prophet who said that “even an iron ring” may be sufficient if the bride is willing to accept it. This encouragement of gift giving should have no bearing as to whether the bride is an orphan or a widow and should be reflective of the ability of the groom without being extravagant to impress or being stingy, which reflects lack of generosity and appreciation. It has become a common practice among people all over the world, including Muslims, to give an engagement ring from the groom to the bride, which itself could be taken as a token mahr or gift if so desired or agreed upon.
This custom of goodwill and free gift giving is being abused widely in the Muslim world, where huge demand is placed for dowry or there is competition and showmanship on how much dowry one can put on the table. In some religious customs (e.g., Hinduism), the burden of dowry is mandatory on the bride’s parents and puts enormous guilt and social pressure on the family of the bride (both poor and rich), causing serious financial and emotional hardship on the parents of such brides and spousal abuse later on by husbands and by in-laws whose greed may not have been satisfied by the bride’s parents.
238. Looking after orphans by their natural or awarded guardians is a major moral and social responsibility and tests the commitment of a society in how it treats its most vulnerable. The Qur’an introduced rules and regulations to safeguard the future of such orphans and instructed in a very clear way how such affairs should be conducted in a moral, ethical, and financially sound manner. It is through these types of legal and moral frameworks that the Qur’an created a social order that led to unprecedented human development and civilization and influenced the legal and social codes for the last fifteen hundred years in many societies all over the globe, not only in Muslim societies. It is for these reasons that Prophet Mohammad has been declared as the best and most prolific lawgiver of the world. Unfortunately, such laws and norms are more prevalent today in Western countries than in the Muslim countries themselves.
REFLECTION
Strengthening family and social relationships from the start of a marriage and taking care of the most vulnerable members of the society are some of the foundations that Islam established. The sooner Muslims and other people of faith adhere to such practices, the better the world we will evolve into.
ACTION
Respectful treatment of women, equality of gender, and social and moral responsibility to orphans and other disadvantaged people are the cornerstones of Islamic faith. Yet, there has been a serious decline in our commitment and ability to uphold these values and norms. Each one of us has the responsibility to change the status quo and must do so in our own lifetime.
Key Arabic Terms
72. Saduqat: Marriage or nuptial gift
73. Nihlat: Given freely